If you have been walking through a season of deep spiritual, emotional, or financial struggle, you know that pain becomes a familiar companion. It’s heavy, but it’s what you know.
Then, one day, something strange happens. You laugh at a joke. You feel a spark of hope about your bank account. You feel a moment of genuine peace during your morning prayer. And almost immediately, it is followed by a sharp, cold feeling: Guilt.
How can I be happy when things aren’t fixed yet? Do I deserve to feel good when I still have so much to rebuild?
As a coach, I see this “Healing Guilt” all the time. Today, I want to tell you why feeling joy in the middle of your journey isn’t a betrayal of your past it’s a requirement for your future.
1. Joy is Your Fuel, Not Your Reward
Many of us were raised to believe that we have to “earn” our way back to happiness. We think, “Once the debt is paid, then I’ll be happy,” or “Once the emotional sting is gone, then I’ll start living again.”
But in the kingdom of God, joy is not the trophy at the end of the race; it is the strength that gets you through it. If you wait until your circumstances are perfect to allow yourself to feel peace, you will be waiting forever. Reclaiming your joy in the midst of the struggle is a spiritual act of defiance. It says to the world: “My circumstances do not dictate my spirit.
2. The Trap of “The Waiting Room”
When we are navigating a season of “starting over,” it’s easy to live in the “Waiting Room.” We put our dreams on hold, our self-care on hold, and our identities on hold until the struggle is “officially” over.
But life happens in the transition. If you spend three years “waiting” to be okay, you’ve spent three years not living the life you were called to. Blooming isn’t a destination you reach; it’s a way of growing through the dirt. You are allowed to be a work in progress and a masterpiece at the same time.
3. Financial Peace vs. Financial Perfection
This guilt often shows up in our finances. You might feel guilty for buying a $5 latte because your “struggle” tells you that you should be in constant deprivation mode until your savings account is full.
Expert Coaching Insight: While stewardship is vital, a “scarcity mindset” will keep you paralyzed. You must learn to distinguish between wasteful spending and investing in your soul. Sometimes, the small act of treating yourself is a way of telling your spirit that you believe in a God of abundance, not just a God of “just enough.”
4. How to Release the Guilt
If you find yourself feeling guilty for “blooming” too soon, try these three shifts:
- Practice Gratitude Without ‘Buts’: When something good happens, say “Thank you, Lord,” and stop there. Don’t add, “But I still have so much to fix.” Let the blessing stand on its own.
- Redefine “Moving On”: Moving on doesn’t mean you forgot what happened. It means you are choosing to let the light in. You aren’t leaving your story behind; you are starting a new chapter.
- Honor the Survivor: Look back at the woman you were at the height of the struggle. Would she want you to stay miserable? No. She fought so that this version of you could finally breathe. Honor her by living fully.
Reflection for Your Week
Think about one thing that brought you a “micro-moment” of joy this week. Did you let yourself feel it, or did you shut it down?
Today, I want you to give yourself explicit permission to bloom. Even if the soil is still a bit rocky. Even if the sun is just starting to peek through the clouds. You are allowed to be happy today.
Is Guilt Holding You Back? If you feel like you’re stuck in the “Waiting Room” of life, let’s work together to break those chains. My coaching helps you find the balance between honoring your journey and embracing your future.
Schedule Your ‘Permission to Bloom’ Call
https://funkeakinmade.com/book-consultation/